I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
