maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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