You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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