no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
