Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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