I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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