wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize