So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
