All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
