How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
