she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
