Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
MIDGETS
????
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
