But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
