I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
