brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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