You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
