C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
