i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
