Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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