Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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