biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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