I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
