Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
