look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
