Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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