do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
that's an acceptable place to lick
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
