ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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