my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize