I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
