apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
