new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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