Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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