you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
