i just google imaged poop.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
