He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
