you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
