She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
vagina is talking i cant
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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