They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
