white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
