Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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