I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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