God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
