Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
