my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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