where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
