Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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