what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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