At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
