yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
