he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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