I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
