Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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