No awkward lesbian experiences without me
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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