if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
