my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
