He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
