Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
