So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
