I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
