Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
