I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
