I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
